Tomorrow is the first Sunday in Advent, the season of preparation leading up to Christmas. I have spent the last 3 and 1/2 years in my own season of preparation in seminary and in two short weeks I will be done. (Yahoo) It has been a ridiculous ride. I am amazed at what God has done, nothing short of miraculous. I honestly still can't fully grasp why He invited me on this journey, except to say I asked for Him to use me daily and this is what He called me to do.
I have grown to know myself far better over these years because I have grown to know my Creator far better, and who knows me better than that? I have come to more fully understand how faithful our God is and how much He loves us because I have come to the absolute end of myself over and over. Time and again when I have felt inadequate and incapable God has showed up in amazing ways. I long to tell everyone what I know about God. His goodness is so great that it bubbles up inside me to the point I feel my heart might break. Where do I even begin? How? I know how, I do, but it is so incredibly overwhelming.
I don't know that I will ever be fully "prepared" but I do know I serve a God that blesses obedience, not in ways I would imagine but in ways that are far greater.
I may ramble, but as Paul says in his second letter to the Corinthians, if I am out of my mind it is for the sake of God and if I am in my right mind it is for you.
Showing posts with label seminary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label seminary. Show all posts
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Monday, September 6, 2010
One more time...
Tomorrow is the first day of my last semester of seminary. On December 10 I will graduate with my Masters of Divinity. It has been quite the journey over the last 3 years. For those of you who do not know an MDIV is not your regular master's degree. An MDIV at Asbury actually requires 96 credit hours, to my knowledge the highest requirement for any seminary in the country. Anyway...
God has amazed me with His faithfulness over the four years since He called me to this journey. Just recalling it all brings me close to tears. I remembered sensing that this was in His plan and literally sneaking to look online at seminary websites, thinking I had to be out of my mind to think Marten would ever go along with this. Bottom line is I thought God was a little crazy to think this could ever happen, work, etc. I mean didn't He know who I was? I am so not worthy, so inadequate and incapable, and sinner, well, I am one of the greatest. And then there was the fact that I was mom to two little girls. Sierra was 3 and Ariana was 7. Oh and then there was the fact that Marten had already supported my going back to school once, how could I dare to ask for that again? And then there was the fact that Marten had been a believer all of a year and a half. HA! Like he would go for being a pastor's husband! God had to be completely out of His mind to call me to this! And then there was the money. How on earth were we supposed to afford $4000+ a semester?
Well it is four years since God called, so clearly, it was absolutely undeniable, I answered against all odds, started 9 months later, and here I am. There is a whole lot more to that story. It has certainly not been happy trails and smooth sailing. We have weathered two job losses for Marten, major health problems, surgery, hospitalization, concerns with Ariana, a myriad of financial challenges, heartbreaks, disappointments, amazing mission trips to Mexico and Jordan, a wedding, two funerals, so many new kinds of normal, so much more.
God is sooooo amazing. I know He can do far more than we can ever ask or imagine. I know God is faithful. I know His plans and purposes will be fulfilled we need only open ourselves to the possibilities and be His ready instruments. I know God provides. I have seen it time and again when things seemed absolutely impossible.
I confess I am tired! I have gone straight through,no breaks, every semester, mini semester, summer, etc. Along with two part time jobs, two little girls, and a husband that has been neglected more than I care to admit. It has been exhilarating and exhausting. So many highs and lows. I have learned so much,not all in books, a lot about myself, others, but mostly about my God.
So, onward. I see a light at the end of the tunnel! Big giant thank yous to all of my prayer warriors (don't stop now), to my encouragers, and those who for some reason see something in me I do not see in myself. I could not have done it without every single one of you. Consider this your invitation to the impending birth. One of the biggest labors of love is about to be born!
God has amazed me with His faithfulness over the four years since He called me to this journey. Just recalling it all brings me close to tears. I remembered sensing that this was in His plan and literally sneaking to look online at seminary websites, thinking I had to be out of my mind to think Marten would ever go along with this. Bottom line is I thought God was a little crazy to think this could ever happen, work, etc. I mean didn't He know who I was? I am so not worthy, so inadequate and incapable, and sinner, well, I am one of the greatest. And then there was the fact that I was mom to two little girls. Sierra was 3 and Ariana was 7. Oh and then there was the fact that Marten had already supported my going back to school once, how could I dare to ask for that again? And then there was the fact that Marten had been a believer all of a year and a half. HA! Like he would go for being a pastor's husband! God had to be completely out of His mind to call me to this! And then there was the money. How on earth were we supposed to afford $4000+ a semester?
Well it is four years since God called, so clearly, it was absolutely undeniable, I answered against all odds, started 9 months later, and here I am. There is a whole lot more to that story. It has certainly not been happy trails and smooth sailing. We have weathered two job losses for Marten, major health problems, surgery, hospitalization, concerns with Ariana, a myriad of financial challenges, heartbreaks, disappointments, amazing mission trips to Mexico and Jordan, a wedding, two funerals, so many new kinds of normal, so much more.
God is sooooo amazing. I know He can do far more than we can ever ask or imagine. I know God is faithful. I know His plans and purposes will be fulfilled we need only open ourselves to the possibilities and be His ready instruments. I know God provides. I have seen it time and again when things seemed absolutely impossible.
I confess I am tired! I have gone straight through,no breaks, every semester, mini semester, summer, etc. Along with two part time jobs, two little girls, and a husband that has been neglected more than I care to admit. It has been exhilarating and exhausting. So many highs and lows. I have learned so much,not all in books, a lot about myself, others, but mostly about my God.
So, onward. I see a light at the end of the tunnel! Big giant thank yous to all of my prayer warriors (don't stop now), to my encouragers, and those who for some reason see something in me I do not see in myself. I could not have done it without every single one of you. Consider this your invitation to the impending birth. One of the biggest labors of love is about to be born!
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Lots of news...
About two months ago I shared that I had a looming deadline to turn in my ordination paperwork to the District Committee on Ordained Ministry in the UMC in order to be approved to appear before the Conference Board next Spring. That Board will determine whether or not I am commissioned as an appointed elder in the UMC. The good news is even in the middle of a semester I was able to meet their deadline and turned in no less than 72 pages and passed their interview process. Yay!
Just last week I finished another semester (two more to go). This summer and fall will be the last. Come December I will be a Master of Divinity, HA!
Something else quite significant happened last week as well. I was appointed as a part-time pastor to Martha Brown United Methodist Church in East Atlanta Village. Although it is part-time I am the only pastor. My first Sunday is June 27. I am so humbled by this high privilege and pray God will use me in mighty ways. There are some exciting and wonderful things going on there and I look forward to being a part of what God is doing in and through the people of MBUMC and the community.
What I have learned in the last three years of ministry while being a seminary student has value beyond measure. God has taught me so much about who I am, who God is, and who God created me to be. He has taught me about need, and lack, and want, temptation, provision, and providence, grace, love, and power. Some of it I learned in books, most of it I learned in life, by reaching out, by being obedient even when I didn't want to, by looking up, by falling on my face before God. I learned so much in the despair of a late night cancer diagnosis, the desperate cries of parents watching their baby die, the prayers prayed aloud in multiple languages in the frenzy of a hospital trauma room, the praises sung to God in a dirt floor church in Mexico, the tears in the eyes of young Palestinian woman in a souk in Jordan, and so, so, so much more.
God is amazing. God's power, grace, and love are matchless. To God be the glory. Now and forever. Amen!
Just last week I finished another semester (two more to go). This summer and fall will be the last. Come December I will be a Master of Divinity, HA!
Something else quite significant happened last week as well. I was appointed as a part-time pastor to Martha Brown United Methodist Church in East Atlanta Village. Although it is part-time I am the only pastor. My first Sunday is June 27. I am so humbled by this high privilege and pray God will use me in mighty ways. There are some exciting and wonderful things going on there and I look forward to being a part of what God is doing in and through the people of MBUMC and the community.
What I have learned in the last three years of ministry while being a seminary student has value beyond measure. God has taught me so much about who I am, who God is, and who God created me to be. He has taught me about need, and lack, and want, temptation, provision, and providence, grace, love, and power. Some of it I learned in books, most of it I learned in life, by reaching out, by being obedient even when I didn't want to, by looking up, by falling on my face before God. I learned so much in the despair of a late night cancer diagnosis, the desperate cries of parents watching their baby die, the prayers prayed aloud in multiple languages in the frenzy of a hospital trauma room, the praises sung to God in a dirt floor church in Mexico, the tears in the eyes of young Palestinian woman in a souk in Jordan, and so, so, so much more.
God is amazing. God's power, grace, and love are matchless. To God be the glory. Now and forever. Amen!
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Begin again...
Tomorrow starts a new semester, my last spring semester at Asbury. Next year at this time I will be done. I truly have loved seminary. I have always loved being a student anyway, but seminary has been incredible. To have the opportunity to learn what I have from some pretty incredible people doing awesome kingdom work as well as to learn from some on fire brothers and sisters, that have been my classmates has been an honor.
It has been incredibly challenging to be a full time graduate student along with working and being mom to two young girls. It has taught me so much, not only in book knowledge, but mostly in who I am and who I am not, who God created me to be. I have learned about my gifts and I have learned about my weak places. I have learned so much about who I am because I have learned more about who God is and frankly as my Creator he knows me better than anyone else. This "knowing" has less to do with books and more to do with absolute reliance on him to carry me through this process. Honestly, I never imagined, at any point in my life, doing what I do now and will do to a greater degree as time goes by. I have tried to resist,made lots of excuses, because, really none of this is easy, but at the same time the rewards are immeasurable and eternal,so how could it not be awesomely wonderful?
I have always been so excited to start a new semester, hungry to know more as soon as possible. This is the first time I don't feel that. I don't know if I am just worn out or if it is the thought of finishing that causes me to hesitate. If you are reading this, say a prayer for endurance to finish the race that has been set before me. Thank you!
It has been incredibly challenging to be a full time graduate student along with working and being mom to two young girls. It has taught me so much, not only in book knowledge, but mostly in who I am and who I am not, who God created me to be. I have learned about my gifts and I have learned about my weak places. I have learned so much about who I am because I have learned more about who God is and frankly as my Creator he knows me better than anyone else. This "knowing" has less to do with books and more to do with absolute reliance on him to carry me through this process. Honestly, I never imagined, at any point in my life, doing what I do now and will do to a greater degree as time goes by. I have tried to resist,made lots of excuses, because, really none of this is easy, but at the same time the rewards are immeasurable and eternal,so how could it not be awesomely wonderful?
I have always been so excited to start a new semester, hungry to know more as soon as possible. This is the first time I don't feel that. I don't know if I am just worn out or if it is the thought of finishing that causes me to hesitate. If you are reading this, say a prayer for endurance to finish the race that has been set before me. Thank you!
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