Hmmm...

Today was interesting. I had the privilege of doing a dialogue with the senior pastor of my home church for all three of our services. We are in the midst of a sermon series on World Religions. Three services back to back is a lot to do. The first one was awkward because we were finding our ways and looking for smooth transitions, the second time was awesome, totally smooth, the third time I was beat and thinking wow, seriously I'm doing this again? Really it was all great and a wonderful learning experience. I received a lot of positive feedback which was so encouraging but I kept wondering if people were just saying that. I told one person how much I appreciated their positive remarks but realized how much my church family loved me and wondered if they were being truthful. I mentioned this later to a friend who happens to be the wife of another pastor. I told her I wondered if the senior pastor would get any emails and hoped they would be positive too. She said something like yes, well it's funny how you would take those negative emails to heart but you question all of the positive feedback. Hmmm. She has a point there. What is that all about?

Really I just want honesty. If I need to stretch myself in some areas that I am not seeing I would like to know about it. I want some constructive criticism and feedback. That's all. Another challenge to move me forward and push me further. (not that I am not being pushed soooo far it is unbelievable already). That is part of my desire for transparency and authenticity though. If I disappoint people or if I have it all wrong I want people around that will tell it like it is. I can take it. I feel like I have a responsibility that I didn't before. I feel accountable in ways I didn't before. I want to be the best for God and I need everyone around me to help me be more fully formed in His image. No man (woman) is and island. We need each other.
Great day really. Full of wonderful life altering stuff. Wow, I get to be a part of that! Unbelievable!