Asbury Theological Seminary

I have spent the week on campus at ATS for a summer intensive. Man I love this place! One day after 8 hours in the class room I headed over to the library and found my favorite spot on the third floor. There are 6 awesomely comfy chairs that face out over the courtyard that contains a large statue of John Wesley across which is one of the many chapels at Asbury. My heart beat a bit faster as I started to recall my first time on campus when I felt so out of place. Thinking back to that time I remembering looking around as if it wasn't real, not fully knowing how I had gotten here or what I thought I was doing.

I have experienced much the same feeling over and over again over the last years. All I know is God called, I answered, and again and again I have found myself in places and positions I never thought I would. That he would stake his name on me, such an inadequate ill-equipped sinner as me is mindboggling. The things God has put on my plate and called me to next are astounding. I want so desperately to be His instrument, to abide in Him, to hear His voice, and to live into His purposes and plans.

I am so ready to graduate in just 4 and 1/2 months, but I will miss this place desperately! I will miss being surrounded by people 100% sold out for Jesus, who are following him with their lives, leaving home, and family, and country of origin. I will miss hearing the whispered prayers and praises of those hungry for God surrounding me. I will miss the incredible uplifted voices praising God through song in our chapel services. I will miss the awesome men and women who really know what it is like to be in this skin, one called to lead, one who has been called to something so weighty as preaching and teaching the word of the Creator of the universe, binding up the broken hearted and setting captives free. I have heard people from all over the world and people from other seminaries come here and say that there is just something about this place. It is holy. God's Spirit is unmistakeably present and palpable. A doctoral student (from another denominaton) shared in class this morning that he came to Asbury initially because it was close and convenient but he was not prepared for what he found when he got here. He has been amazed by the presence of the Spirit, the biblical teaching, the strong academic emphasis, and the core of this institution, whose mission is to spread scriptural holiness across the land.

I will be so proud that my MDIV is from ATS!

Together is better

The church I pastor has suffered a tragic loss this last week. It has been a faith shaking experience for many. It has been trial by fire for me only 3 weeks into this, my first appointment. It has been hard to see the pain and the hurt, to be present in it, and to somehow offer hope. This is certainly not the first time and I know it will not be the last. Most of my experience with this before however was with folks I hardly knew while I was working in chaplaincy in the hospital. I hardly knew them and I would never see them again once they left the hospital. I now find myself in different circumstances. I am starting to get to know these people and they me. In the last few weeks I have been surprised, disappointed, frustrated, excited, impatient, and so much more, but what I have seen in these last days since learning of this loss has been remarkable. It has made me so proud. It has broken my heart and filled it up to over flowing all at the same time. It has made me adore all of them for so many reasons. I am so proud to be the pastor of such a remarkable group of people. It is amazing what they have been able to do together, even those who fuss about each other any other day of the week :)
God is so blessed when we work together in love. Together is so much better.
Eccl 4:9-12

Stepping out and risking...

I went to the dentist yesterday. I really don't like the dentist. I have spent more than my share of time in the dentist's chair. As a kid I had four baby teeth and four permanent teeth pulled before I could get into braces. After 3 years of those I had a retainer and then all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I have always gone for cleanings regularly, but that changed a couple of years ago. I know gross, right? Anyway, I broke a tooth and had to have my first crown about three years ago. It was awful. I felt like a big baby. I did not want to go back, rescheduled my next cleaning when the time came, and then cancelled it. Last Friday night while eating pizza of all things, something broke. I wasn't sure if I lost part of a filling or part of a tooth it was so far back. Come Monday I hesitantly called the dentist to schedule an appointment.
They saw me that afternoon and sure enough I had cracked a tooth and part of a filling adjacent. UGH! I took a deep breath, the dentist assured me they would make me comfortable, and the drilling began! Thankfully it was a much better experience than the first time. Then I really felt silly.
As I drove off I started thinking about how in life we are sometimes hurt and that hurt keeps us from opening up again. Instead we guard ourselves, afraid to risk getting hurt again even when new people and new circumstances present themselves. I talked about this a bit in my sermon Sunday. The hurts we suffer in life, of our own making or as the result of others can keep us down if we let them, but that is not what God intends. God intends to redeem all of creation, including our experiences. Because of what God has done in Jesus we have been set free. We no longer have to live in guilt and shame. It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Those bad experiences can stay bad expereinces or we can use them to help others. We can turn our trash into treasure. There is a special kind of credibility that comes from someone who can come alongside someone else who is now in the midst of similar challenges or circumstances. But it doesn't even have to correlate. Whatever the battle, the scars, we can choose to persevere in God's strength instead of in guilt and shame, hiding in our cocoon.
It can feel risky, but the rewards are immeasurable! Don't let fear win. Fear is not from God but from the enemy of God!

Taking a walk...

So tonight I finally went walking again. It has been months and I missed it. I stopped when my sweet dog started getting sick back at the beginning of Spring. I just couldn't bring myself to go walking without her. She loved it so much. She would get so excited and bark and dance around when I would get the leash out. When she started to get sick she just didn't have it in her to walk much more than out to the street and to the next door neighbors. It broke my heart. This was a dog that loved to play fetch and would literally wear anyone out that would start playing with her. It was so hard to see that life fade away. I felt like it would just not be fair to go walking, for her to know I was going, and not be able to take her.
We finally had to put her to sleep three weeks ago.

It was a nice evening. There was a little breeze, the sun was going down, and I just walked and walked and walked. I lost track of how far. It was like I was making up for lost time. I thought about people with loved ones close to them that are sick or unable to care for themselves and the sacrifices they make to care for them. I thought about putting life on hold. I marveled again at the strength of the human spirit that God has given to each of us, remembering what I had witnessed while working in chaplaincy. Truly amazing!

I got a text from someone going through some hard stuff in life tonight. They are struggling to be strong in their faith and to persevere. I reminded them that even though it may not feel like it, God is there. They are not alone and they will wake up tomorrow and it will be another day full of opportunities. That is so hard to see when we are in the midst of it. We must remind one another! As brothers and sisters we are called to carry the burdens of others. To exhort and uplift, that the road might not be so difficult. God has not only given us an amazing spirit to persevere, God has given us to one another. How has God seen you through some tough times in your own life through the love and care of others? Who has God placed in your life that need your love and care to know that God is there? That God is real?

1 John 4:12
No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.