Dear Jesus

I came across this prayer the other day in my reading and wanted to share it. A portion of it became very dear to me at a particular time in my life. It is highlighted below. It was written by Cardinal Newman and used in slightly altered form as a daily community prayer by Mother Teresa and the Sisters of the Missionaries of Charity.

Dear Jesus,
help me to spread thy fragrance everywhere I go.
Flood my soul with Thy spirit and life.
Penetrate and possess my whole being so utterly
that all my life may only be a radiance of thine.
Shine through me,
and be so in me that every soul I come in contact with
may feel thy presence in my soul.
Let them look up and see no longer me
but only Jesus!
Stay with me,
and then I shall begin to shine
as Thou shinest,
so to shine as to be a light to others;
the light, O Jesus, will be all from Thee;
none of it will be mine;
it will be Thou shining on others through me.
Let me thus praise Thee in the way Thou dost love best
by shining on those around me.
Let me preach Thee without preaching,
not by words but by my example,
by the catching force of the sympathetic influence
of what I do,
the evident fullness of the love my heart bears to Thee.
Amen

Gratified

The sermon I preached this Sunday, more or less as it never comes out the way it is written. This is the first of a four part series "Wrestling with God"
Genesis 25:19-34
Within the book of Genesis is the unfolding story of the Patriarchs, the father’s of our faith, Abraham, Isaac, and is it Esau or Jacob? We find ourselves today midway through the book at chapter 25.

Abraham has died and his son Isaac is set to carry on his legacy through his relationship with God and yet his wife is unable to conceive, he’s forty years old and he prays to God on behalf of his wife. It’s funny, I don’t want you to miss this because verse 21 says he prayed and verse 22 says the Lord answered but if you look at verse 26 it says Isaac is 60 when the twins Jacob and Esau are born. Wait, hold up, 20 years have passes between the prayer being prayed and the answer Isaac was looking for. In contrast, if you read the story just prior to this in chapter 24 Abraham has sent his servant to find a wife for Isaac. Read 24:42-46. Even before this servant prayed for God to reveal the identity of the woman to which Isaac should marry she was there God was answering. Twenty years have passed since Isaac has prayed this prayer for his wife and just now it is being answered. What is God up to? The boys grow up and they have different likes and dislikes, different gifts and skills, and one is more a quiet mama’s boy and the other daddy’s little wildman. Esau is the older, the firstborn and therefore according to tradition is set to inherit a double portion of what his younger brother would as well as the privilege of becoming the leader of the family upon the event of Isaac’s death. This was his prized birthright. Then we come to this pivotal moment.

Esau has been out climbing and hunting and basically wearing himself out when he comes home overcome by hunger. (Hangry anyone else become irritable and unreasonable besides me when they are hungry?) He is so overcome that he gets more than a little dramatic when he says he is about to die of hunger and will do just about anything to get a bowl of stew. And that is pretty much what he does. Wait, seriously? I mean who would forfeit their future, possessions, leadership, stats, authority, integrity, respect, over something as temporary as a bowl of stew?

Ok has anyone here ever made the mistake of going to the grocery store when they were hungry? Confess! What happens? Maybe we don’t make the best choices. Maybe we go a bit off plan or off the list because Everything looks good! Meeting this immediate need, feeling some sense of gratification, no matter the cost, the calories, the guilt that is experienced later, we feel compelled, we must feed the hungry beast within, even at the cost of a birthright. Even at the cost of his future. I mean what good is a birthright when you are starving? What good is saving for a rainy day when ipad2 is released or the coolest new hybrid (I mean I will be saving the planet, right?). Or maybe it’s your personal integrity. I mean you are the only one that really knows if you slip up a little in that department, right? It won’t hurt anyone else, right? Sometimes those marriage vows can be a little inconvenient too. What good are they when the one you made them to barely gives you the time of day, so what if you reciprocate some of that attention you’ve been getting from that certain someone. We all have appetites whether they be physical, or emotional, or spiritual. We all have them. And the pressure of these moments distorts our perspective. It becomes the only thing of importance. We almost have tunnel vision. The big picture seems to fade away. Esau says he is about to die. Is he? We get tunnel vision and fail to see long term. Shopping while hungry can be hazardous to your waistline and to your wallet.

The dictionary defines gratify as to reward, to be a source of or give pleasure or satisfaction to, to give in to, to indulge. What did Esau forfeit by indulging his appetite? And at what cost do we indulge our own appetites? What if God was know of the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Esau instead? What future might God have had in mind for Esau? What future does God have in mind for you? I mean God more than instantly answered the prayer of Abraham’s servant when he was sent to find a wife for Isaac and yet 20 years passed from the time Isaac prayed for his barren wife until Esau and Jacob were born. Do we forfeit our future by quote, filling our bellies anyway we can? Because our short term satisfaction has in many cases long term implications and consequences. But the pressure of those moments when our appetites are screaming somehow causes us to lose sight of those long term implications and consequences.

There are many things in life we all like to think we know how we would handle if encountered with them, then, there are those who believe it is impossible to really know unless you are in it. I believe if we look at the context of this story we can reframe our appetites in the broader context of what we have been called to, 5 or even 10 yrs from now…I know the speed of life today. It’s all you can do to think ahead more than 5 minutes, but “indulge” me for a moment

What do you want?
For your Marriage, Your Children, Your Ministry, Your Health, Your Work, Your legacy?

Because you have no idea what God wants to accomplish through you…or frankly how long that will take.

Ultimately no one can force you to be who, or what you were created to be; but don’t you want to make your life count? Each of us was bought at a costly price with the blood of Christ. The frightening thought is that we each have the choice, we don’t have to make it count, we can cruise through gratifying our every appetite with no thought of the implications. But there is something bigger going on, God has called us to something greater through Jesus Christ. When we profess our faith and become followers of Jesus we are called to come and die that we might truly live. Die to life in the flesh and begin life anew in the Spirit and the Spiritual life transcends our physical existence. Our physical bodies will someday die but our spirit will live on to eternity.

Paul says in Romans 8-you are no longer in the flesh, you are in the Spirit, since the Spirit dwells in you
5 Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6 The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.

And to the Galatians 5 16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.
The bottom line is, if we base our whole life on the immediacies of physical existence we will lose it all because one day we are going to die. It is God’s gift that we are more than our physical existence, our spiritual nature is our greatest birthright, don’t forfeit that! God means to strengthen, uplift, partner. God has something in mind that you and I cannot see and it might be life changing when you walk out of this building and it might be 20 years from now.

God sees the fullness of time. Our lives were meant to have meaning and purpose for God, our Creator. Your life, my life was bought at a costly price with the blood of Christ. When we profess our faith in Christ, knowing we are unable to do life on our own, he bids us to come and die, die to the flesh, and live life in the Spirit, the Spirit that lives in us for eternity. The Spirit that testifies with our spirit that we are children of God and we have been given the greatest inheritance, a new birthright as sons and daughters of God. Do you live like it or do we like Esau despise our birthright? You have no idea what God wants to accomplish through you, but God does. God holds eternity in God’s hand and calls us sons and daughters. The God of Abraham, Isaac, and...you?

The Weight of the Role

Being named or called Pastor is weighty. I am constantly aware of this and all of its implications. I have known someone now for nearly two decades that left the Church due to the decision of the pastor to not perform a marraige between this person and their fiance due to the religious beliefs of the fiance. This person that had grown up in the Church, left, and never went back. I have heard similar stories over the years, both before and since becoming a pastor myself. Some have told me they were "hurt by the Church" in some way or another and I have reminded them that we are all human beings and that it was a human being that hurt them or wronged them, but that Jesus had nothing to do with it. That Jesus would not have hurt them, rejected them, judged them, in that way that sent them running in the other direction. I pray that they give the Church, Jesus' Church, another try, because it can be the most amazing and wonderful community to be a part of in life and ultimately a means of God's grace to grow us into God's intended image and reflection of God and God's love. This cannot be done alone!

Unfortunately our failings as pastors have far further reaching implications than we might ever imagine. This friend of mine recently shared a conversation they had with their now aging sibling. They talked about God, and faith, and the Church. The sibling confessed that after what had happened to their loved one, they too had left the Church (they have lived in different countries for 45 years) and never looked back because they too were so hurt and felt so betrayed by this pastor and therefore the Church.

It is a weighty role. For better or worse a pastor can become synonomous with a person's image of the Church, grace, forgiveness, judgment, etc. The bottom line is however that all who believe are called to be ambassadors for Christ. How we live what we say we believe has broad sweeping implications for many that we may never even know. How do you live what you say you believe?
2Corinthians 5:20 We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.

Chchchchanges

I am about to begin my second year serving as pastor to a 118 year old church. As the first female pastor in their history some new territory is being forged and will continue to be over the course of the next year. Today is the day many United Methodist pastor's preached their last sermons before moving on to new appointments in new churches. It is a bittersweet time for both pastors and congregations. Some are sad to leave and some are sad to be left while some are anxious to move on and some congregations can't wait for the pastor to move on :). All that being said these changes can be difficult on everyone involved. There are few people I know who like change or seek it out. It's hard, it's uncomfortable, it's takes a lot of energy. Sometimes difference feels like the wrong way to some, just because it's different. What I know is this. A lot of prayer and discernment goes into these decisions and moves and I believe that God is in it. I believe that God knows far more than we do and that these changes should be seen as opportunities to grow for all involved. Ultimately it's not about us, it is about God and God's purposes and plans for us all. Surrendering to that is the hard part.

What I do know for sure is that in a world that is constantly changing around us, change is inevitable. The challenge is seeing these changes as an opportunity to grow, to sharpen our skills, and tone some muscles. As the church we must be poised to meet the changing landscape both inside and outside the doors of the buildings where we worship, to step outside our comfort zones, and learn who our neighbors are and what speaks to their hearts. We have to be willing to put our own likes, preferences, and comfort aside for the opportunity to share God's love with others.

I pray this year of continuing change will be instrumental in my "going on to perfection" as John Wesley would say, and that we all might be further shaped into the reflection of God we were created to be.

The Way

I have yet to do this but thought today might be the day to post the manuscript for the sermon I preached this morning. Mind you, though it is a manuscript it never comes out the way it is written.

Your comments are welcome!

The text is John 14:1-14 Read it first!
Some interesting events have unfolded in these last few weeks with Harold Camping, president of Christian Radio Network, predicting the beginning of the end, or the rapture, yesterday. Interestingly Family Radio’s website was offering special promotions as late as Friday that expired May 28.
All false prophets and shenanigans aside, If it was your last day, or if you knew death was imminent is there anything you would have made it a point to do, like something on your bucket list, or made it a point to say to your loved ones?
I confess I have not thought a lot about final words in regards to my own life, though I have had the privilege to sit with both loved ones and practical strangers as they passed from this world. I’ve thought about hymns and music for my funeral and scripture that I want read, but as far as the words that will be said before that day, not so much. The closest I have come was when after having Sierra I experienced some strange symptoms that prompted many medical tests and a possible diagnosis of MS that really rocked my world in considering the span of my life and just how much of my two daughter’s I would be able to be a part of. I began to think about what I would want them to know about me, my life and my hopes and dreams for them, what wisdom I would want to share born of my own experience, and what comfort and love and peace I would want them to know in spite of my own imminent death.
Oddly enough most of us don’t give a lot of thought, at least with great intention, to these things unless they are staring us right in the face. Thing is, life is fatal. We will all die a physical death. What are your hopes and dreams for those whom you love? Do you tell them or hold them in your heart for the “right time”. Will your own loved ones be able to find peace and comfort and a reason for living differently in your absence? Will their journey be different because of your life?
Death bed confessions, death bed instructions…or as this text is referred to by biblical scholars, a farewell discourse is a place where deepest desires and concerns are expressed and a quality and character of one’s life is shared. A farewell discourse, a speech delivered in the face of imminent death or departure, known from ancient Jewish literature. The speaker makes known his deepest desires and concerns for those he leaves behind. In this text Jesus expresses his concern for the community he leaves behind, for the quality and character of their life together, and for the witness they bear to him in the world.
Jesus repeats the words believe and dwelling several times in this passage. So much so that one is led to believe that we come to believe and know based on where we dwell.
These words are words of comfort. Christ, knowing he was about to face a bodily death, a painful death, was comforting those whom he would leave behind. Those who would be asked to carry on what he began. How are they to do this? The way “Hodos” in the Greek is also used as a path or a road, journey. The path of Christ’s life, death, and resurrection is one that we are being called to as well. We try to make it complicated, we strive, to work, and maybe these words of comfort should resonate more deeply…just do what I do, just dwell in me, live in me. The disciples are troubled, saying “don’t leave us we don’t know what we are doing, we don’t know where we are going, where you are going”. Jesus says, “Don’t be troubled”. I am the image of the invisible God…you know me, you know God. You know me, you know the way. You’ve seen me, you’ve seen the Father.
Many get caught up in the “no one comes to the Father except by me” and many a heated debate has been had in regards to these words. Like all of scripture we have to consider the context in which they were spoken before jumping to conclusions.
These words are meant to bring comfort to some pretty distraught disciples. They are words of peace and assurance. “I go to prepare a place, a dwelling, and I will come back”. This place, this Oikos in the biblical Greek this (household)—oikia house…also used in the same context is monay…dwelling
As Peter’s epistle instructs, we too are being built into something as we dwell in Christ we become a dwelling of his Spirit. The way can be understood as a place or as an action, a state of living with vitality. A way of living, the journey, not the destination at all. It is in the journey that we are being built into this house, this dwelling for the Spirit of God.
If you knew your death was imminent what would you say to those you leave behind? What would your wishes be? What great wisdom would you want to share? Would you make video tapes like some of those who are dying to their children? What I wish for you. Would it be a means of comfort or a charge as to how to live? Because, if you read a little further Jesus is doing both, comforting and charging. Would your words convey something to the effect, I have done some living, I am facing death, do it this way. Or, if I could do it all over again. If you were on your death bed, what would you want to tell your loved ones? How would you give them peace? What legacy would you leave? How would you bring them comfort?
This is what Jesus is doing in his farewell discourses. Death was imminent and yet he wanted to leave those closest to him with some final words of comfort and peace as well as instructions on how to live and assurance that they would be together again. Are the instructions something you do joyfully in loving memory or are do they become a burden to those you leave behind? Lest they do become a burden, Jesus assures them further if you read further in this passage, that he is not leaving them orphans but instead is providing an Advocate, that will equip, counsel, comfort and convict in his absence, the Holy Spirit.
You do know the way. I am the way. No one comes to the Father, except through me. So rest assured, you know me therefore you know my Father and the way to him. Christ’s message to his disciples is the same for us today. Know me, know the way.
He is the way, the journey. Do you know him? Where are you living? It is not just about that one time decision to make Christ your savior, it is about molding your life after his example. It is about joining him on the path, the road, the journey toward God. Your life is hidden with God in Christ. Christ, as Paul writes in Colossians 1:15, is the image of the invisible God. Know him, know God. Know him, know the way. How? What do you know about the way he lived his life? Anyone can tell you he was a good man. Anyone can tell you he did good things. How? Why? How do our lives embody the same today? What does it look like in the 21st century? What is righteous anger because Christ displayed it when injustices were done and when people served themselves instead of others, particularly those in places of authority and wealth? To him who much is given, much is expected, or with great power, comes great responsibility. Christ gave his disciples all authority in heaven and on earth.
Hearing these words, these parting words from this perspective, then can change some of the common hang-ups about them. They are meant to bring comfort and simplicity and peace, not division, and exclusion.
These words meant to bring comfort and peace to Christ disciples both then and now call us to live accordingly, following him with our lives, making him our dwelling place. Modeling our lives after his example, not because we have to, but in response to what has been done on our behalf in his life, death, and resurrection, in a desire to embody his way and point to him with our lives for others.
What would our journey, our way look like if we lived as though we were part of the household of God; not self-righteous but the embodiment of the righteousness of God, like Christ, the image of the invisible God, faithful in the small things? Making our lives about knowing him and making him known. What would it look like if our dwelling was the very heart of God rather than one made with human hands?
The way, is the journey. Live in him. Dwell in him. Be a household of faith. Abide in him. Abide in the vine that as branches we might bear much fruit. Read your Bible. Pray. Study. Share the stories of God’s faithfulness, forgiveness, transforming love and grace in your life. Bear one another’s burdens and know with Christ as your savior, the forgiver of your sins and the Lord of your life you know the way.

Death and the Grave

Death seems to be a theme in my life these last few weeks and just in the last two days I have had two congregation members who have lost their loved ones to the grave. On a day when God's love was nailed to a cross and left to die, this recurring theme of death became even more apparent.

A few weeks ago I checked out a book on cd called "Here if you need me" the autobiographical story of the first female chaplain for game services in the state of Maine. The author became a chaplain following her husband's untimely death while working as a state patrolman. He had wanted to go to seminary, to be a pastor himself. She made it her mission to do it for him. She did the seminary thing but instead of pastoring a parish she became a chaplain in the game services. She was present for search and rescues, for missing children, found bodies, and notifying next of kin. She speaks quite lovingly of death with a touch of "matter of factedness". She tells the story of wahing and dressing her husband's body for cremation, sitting outside the furnace while his body burns, and asking to be cremated in the same furnace upon her own death.

Almost two weeks ago I attended a lecture series at a local seminary called "The Undertaking". The relationship between the pastor and the funeral director was explored as were the opportunities to assist families in more fully participating in the funerals of their loved ones. Stories were shared of the former practice of visitation in peoples homes rather than funeral homes, to carrying the casket of loved ones, and digging the grave and covering the casket with dirt by the family and loved ones.

Death is something most people stay as far away from as possible. When people are sick or dying they are often sent to the hospital or hospice,but away. We don't want to be close. We let the funeral directors plan the plans and prepare the bodies, and the heavy equipment bury our loved ones, we need distance. Truth is, life is lethal. We will all die someday. We will experience death up close and personal. Truth is for those of us that call ourselves followers of Christ we are called to die, that we might truly live. We are called in our baptisms to come face to face with death to die to ourselves that we might be risen to new life in Christ. Our bodies indeed will die, but we will live on in God's eternal kingdom, because of this Good Friday. Christ has overcome the grave. Death has met its end and we have been risen to God in Christ. Thanks be to God.

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Right?

It's been a tough few weeks. I, we, have suffered a major disappointment. What I had been working so diligently toward in these last 3 1/2 years, provisional membership as an elder here in North Georgia for the UMC, has not been realized. For many reasons I won't go into, I have passed 2 of the 3 parts of the Board and will have to wait another year before I can have another shot at the 3rd part again. To say this has been devestating is an understatement.

One of the most difficult parts has been feeling as though I have let people down. I did not get to where I am, through seminary, two job losses for Marten, major illnesses, hospitalizations, etc. without the prayers and support and encouragement of so many people that believe in me and have affirmed this call to ministry. Of course I wanted to make them proud and I wanted to celebrate with all of them. Most of these saints have told me they are far from disappointed in me and this is just a set back. How amazing is that? How blessed am I?

I am still trying to make some sense, some meaning of all of this. I know my God is faithful, that He called be by name, and that none of that has changed. It has been painful, never more painful than when I completely focus on me. When I look at the big picture, that I will not be deterred from continuing to reach people with the good news of God's amazing love and grace I am beyond ok. My prayer is that this next year will be one where I will continue to be a part of seeing people's lives transformed by God. That is what this is all about. Can I get an amen?!

The trials of these last years have been difficult, but I have seen God glorified in it and He will be in this as well. The trials of these last years have caused us to look more fully at the big picture and not be deterred by these detours or roadblocks. The trials of these last years have shown us how faithful our God is. The trials of these last years have not killed us but made us stronger and better equipped to be grace givers even in the midst of trials. We are not stronger in our own power, but by the Spirit of God in us. God is, has been, and always will be with us.

I have jokingly said to a few these past 2 weeks that I am so tired of growing. I need rest. I am unrecognizable from the woman I was 5 years ago. I have been bent until I might break and stretched until I might snap, but ultimately I will continue to grow. I will grow stronger in the grace in mercy God has shown me that I might show it to others. Our God works on our behalf to bring good out of our circumstances, those of us who love him, and good will come of this. I pray I will recognize it when I see it!
More later. Please continue to pray that the hurt will heal as we seek to live into God's purposes for us.

Some tools for the prayer tool belt!

Just a quick post this time. I made some very intentional, measured resolutions for the year this year and I am glad to say I have done pretty well for the most part. One of my resolutions was to pray more and be more intentional about prayer, thus my "Facetime" posts, but how does one do that? I do journal and keep a prayer journal. There are too many times someone has asked me to pray about something, and I said I would, and then I forgot. Well that stopped years ago when i starting keeping the journal because it gave me a place to write things down and to see what God was doing, the answered prayers, and the unfolding story.

My brother Keith has brought to my attention an awesome tool he uses for prayer called echo prayer, you can check it out here

Another discipline I have been moving toward since my trip to Jordan almost three years ago are regular fixed hours of prayer. The Muslim practice of praying five times a day and the regular stopping in worship and awareness of God touched me deeply. In the Christian tradition this is sometimes called the Divine Hours. I have attempted to do this haphazardly off and on with little discipline. I am excited about the potential for intentional and regular prayer with this tool and thought you might want to check it out for yourself.

Let me know how it works for you.

Vision, Running, and the Church

So, I have started training to run a 5K. I know big deal huh? Well I am not a runner. I never have been. This is hard for me! So, I am building my endurance lttle by little by alternating walking and running. I was doing this the other day when I noticed something, the more I focused on trees, street signs, cars in the distance, the farther I was able to go without feeling nearly as out of breath.

I danced growing up, ballet, tap, jazz, modern. I was even in a dance company. I remember whenever we would turn or pirouette we would find a spot on the wall, in the distance, and that is what we fixed our eyes on, so that even in our spinning, we kept our momentum, we were able to remain steady, upright, and in motion.

In pondering these things I began to think of the church I serve. It is 116 years old and it has seen many changes and transitions over the years. For so many years it struggled to survive to the point that survival became the point of focus. The church has begun new growth in the last few years. New vision has been important to the direction and momentum that has begun to build and new vision, new focus will propel the church further forward even still. The key then is to constantly be looking up to what God is doing, to what God is calling us to next. Churches are not meant to exist forever, the Kingdom of God is. That is the vision that must propel the Church forward beyond any other vision, plan, or survival skills for that matter.

Facetime #4

That's me, no makeup. I went out to run an errand like that tonight, no makeup, bare, nothing hidden, not even the outbreak of acne I had this week. I know, nice huh? Well, that is how we all approach God really. I mean we might kid ourselves that we are hiding something but are we? God knows every hair on my head and yours, and yet so many of us fear coming to Him with our deepest, darkest places, the scars, and imperfections in our lives. Coming to God in prayer with these scars and imperfections is what God wants. Yes He knows they are there, but our coming to Him in prayer is an act of worship, of who He is, perfect and holy, and who we are, broken and in need of saving grace. This is what I know; we can try to keep these places hidden or undercover but ultimately it is only shining some light in those dark places that is ever going to bring real healing, covering those wounds and scars only causes them to fester and grow deeper. Getting real with yourself enough to own your junk and get real with God in confessing it is what it takes so some light might shine in the dark and new life might begin. Then growing in an honest, open, real, relationship with the creator of the universe and the lover of your soul,naked an unashamed. I'm convinced of this, if we can be really real with God when we go to Him in prayer, we can be a lot more real with the people in our lives as well.


"Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account".
Hebrews 14:13

Facetime #3

"The blessing" or "giving thanks", even to those who don't pray much at all, is one form of prayer widely practiced. At home it is usually our girls that pray and give thanks. There have been times when they try to out do one another and other times when they clam up asking my husband or myself to pray. My girls usually include many details of the day in their thanks in addition to thanksgiving for the food and "the hands that preapred it". I'm not sure when those words began to be added, but the make a regular appearance.

I guess like with any other time we pray or approach God on a regular basis, in the same time and place, we can lose the sense of awe at that moment and make it a sing songy, meaningless exercise. I know when I recognize this in myself I try to stop and get perspective at just what I am doing and how God wants to hear the depths of our heart, the peaks, the valleys, the eternal gratitude for His provision.

The church I serve is frequently visited by homeless and hungry people, mostly men. In the last months we have been giving out food regularly. This has grown to include one member who has felt called to pull out the grill every Sunday and feed the passersby on the busy road in front of our church. Those who offer money don't understand why we won't take it. That is not what it is about. It is about offering a gift of grace in the form of food, and grace is a free, unmerited gift! Those who can't offer anything but a smile and some conversation are incredibly grateful. They know what it is like to be hungry and therefore appreciate and give thanks for the food.

How many of us can honestly say we have ever really been hungry? I mean the kind of hungry when you don't know when or if you are going to eat again. I mean the kind of hungry when you can't choose, there are no choices, you will take whatever you can get.
So many of us are blessed and we don't even realize it. We know we will eat or can choose to eat or not eat 3+ meals a day. Not only that but we can choose what we eat. We can afford to throw tons of food away without blinking.

I had a conversation Sunday with some folks about our near inability to fully comprehend the depths of human suffering unless we have suffered in some way shape or form in our lives. Perhaps this is the gift of suffering for ourselves, that we are moved to act when next we see another suffering.

Give thanks for God's blessings, whether they are edible ones or the family kind that are sitting around the table.

Mirrors

This week was unusual. We had heavy snow last Sunday night and freezing temperatures all week. As of now, Saturday night, a full 6 days later, there is still snow on the ground. The roads were so icy, school was out for the week, and we were unable to leave the house for 4 days. I had to be still. This is unusual for me.

I had more time than usual to reflect, to list, to pray, to ponder, to SLEEP! I made some plans, set some goals, fleshed out some resolutions. BAM, another up close and personal look at my flaws, scars, and all those things I need to work on.

Watching my own two girls, 7 and 12, I become more and more keenly aware of the mirrors they are of me, my own issues and inadequacies, my own quirkiness, humor, likes and dislikes. Of course I know this, but it was so much more evident in close quarters this week.

I have found the Scriptures to be much the same. Like a mirror, I read them and the more time I spend in the I see how my life has distorted God's intentions. I see how far I have fallen short. I also see the goodness God sees, my own uniqueness and God's redeeming love in it all.

One of my girls is nearly my clone in looks, but they both, I think, have the best parts of me in them. I believe Our Father in heaven sees His children and knows the same. He created us and proclaimed it good, and yet our brokenness has distorted the image we were meant to reflect.

I figure my children will have enough brokenness of their own living in the world we do. I pray my own brokenness will be eclipsed by God's grace and love. That God's grace and love will be the legacy I leave above all else.

"Face Time" #2

This is where I have done the most fervent praying in my life. It is where you will find me most every morning of the week in the quiet hours before anyone is up, even the sun. I could have taken a picture of myself here but the point is that God is present. Though unseen and sometimes not felt, God is present right there on the couch with me.

This is the space where I first heard God call me to full time ministry. This is the place where I have read more of the Bible, more times than I can count. This is the place where I have poured out my heart to God on behalf of His Church, my family, my own brokenness. This is hallowed ground. This is where prayer and "face time" with God really began to form me in ways that I continue to realize.

Many years ago I read two books on prayer that significantly impacted me, "Let Prayer Change Your Life" by Becky Tirabassi and "What Happens When Women Pray" by Evelyn Christenson. These two books called me to a deeper life of prayer and communion with God. They called me to making prayer a priority. They brought me to revelation that I made time for many things in my life but that God got the leftovers if anything at all. God and prayer were the first negotiable things on my daily schedule, kind of like exercise....busy? well, just clear away that quiet time for prayer and study and meditating, and voila...all kinds of time. God and the spiritual life was something I talked about but did not LIVE in.

Another wonderful book on prayer is Richard Foster's "Prayer" and I have heard, though have not read, "Too Busy Not to Pray" by Bill Hybels is good as well.
One of the biggest tools in my prayer life is my journal. I am just as flaky as the next person. When I try to sit still and be quiet my mind inevitably wanders down many a rabbit trail. A have kept many journals of prayer, reflection on scripture, ideas and visions. Writing things down helps me to focus and cover all of the bases. Journals have helped me to record not only the names and requests of those I am praying for, it has enabled me to see God working, often times far ahead of where I am.

In prayer and communion with God in these quiet times and places I find rest and peace.

This was not an easy discipline to establish with two small children when I began years ago. I got interrupted, repeatedly, I got intruded upon with early risers, still sometimes I have to shoo them away, telling them I was talking to God and that we had an appointment that I wanted to keep.

While prayer can take place any time and any where, I pray you will create a special time in your day and a special place to commune with your God.

"Face Time" #1

The sun has set on the first day of the new year and tomorrow begins the first week of the new year. What resolutions have you made? Like many of you I make some of the same ones every year. I do well on some and others seem to be unreachable dreams. One thing I have resolved to do more of this year is pray. That's what's up with the picture. Prayer for me is time to talk and listen to the creator of the universe. It is time to commune with God. Some think that prayer should only be done in a certain place or in a particular posture or in particularly beautiful words. What I have come to understand is that God is present wherever we find ourselves, in whatever posture we take, and in however we might say the words of our heart. Just pray. What I have discovered about myself in prayer over these past years has been enlightening. Prayer is not always about what we pray but just the act of doing it to begin with. Prayer changes a person. There is a very good reason to pray for those who persecute you and I would venture to say it has far more to do with the person praying than the person being prayed for (Matthew 5:44).


And so, for the next year, one time a week, I will post a picture of a different place I am spending some face time with God. I would love to hear about the places you pray and how prayer is changing you and your life with God.

May you know God's blessings in this new year!
In the words of Jesus, "Always pray and never give up!"