So very thankful....

I am thankful for so much. More than anything I am thankful for the people that God has put in my life and whose lives I have the privilege of being a part of. I am in awe that God loves me so much that he has blessed me with each and every person around me and my family. I need each and every one of them!
The semester is about to come to an end and I am a little burnt around the edges. I am ready for a long winter's nap, ready for Marten to know he has another job, ready to know that school is paid for for a change, ready to rest, if only for awhile. Those of you that know me know I have a hard time sitting still for long! It's a good thing because come January I am starting CPE, which is Clinical Pastoral Education. I will be doing this at Scottish Rite Children's Hospital, an internship as a hospital chaplain. I look forward to this practical experience in ministering to families and all God will be doing in and through me. I will also be starting a student pastorate at a little church just south of Social Circle. I am overwhelmed by this opportunity and look forward to that as well, although truly it seems surreal. In addition I will be taking two classes and continuing to work part time.
All that being said, I sure would appreciate your prayers! I ask that you join me in prayer for God's provision in a job for Marten, strength, energy, and annointed words to share in both my CPE and in my pastorate position, and very importantly, someone(s) to help support my seminary costs. Not receiving any of the scholarships I applied for and not being eligible for financial aid has made being obedient to God's call more than a little challenging financially, but nevertheless the obedience is not negotiable. I will continue to move forward in whatever ways I am able! Doing otherwise is frankly impossible!
Jeremiah 20:9
9 But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.

The Change of Seasons

So much seems to be changing right now. On the surface winter is coming on full force no doubt with our 18 degree temperature in Georgia this morning! We have a new President coming into office that ran on the idea of change. Marten is looking for a new job thanks to Circuit City closing all of the Atlanta stores, I am finishing up another semester in 3 weeks and trying to get things in order for next semester. I am praying about an opportunity to take a student pastorate position at a small church, and Monday is my 40th birthday. Man that is a lot of change! It really is enough to send someone over the edge. BUT, Marten and I have gotten some practice at this turmoil before and we are getting the hang of it. Yes we are uneasy, and as I said, I was angry for awhile about the job, but underneath it all, and this goes for Marten too, is a sense of peace and assurance. We know whose we are and we have seen Him come through in awesome ways before.
It's time for me to preach to myself. Some of the things I have found myself saying to others (friends, classmates, family, and in interviews) lately are: "we need only step forward in obedience, the details are His and He will work them out, the kingdom is brought to earth in those small steps taken forward". "We do not get to pick who we sit next to in the Kingdom. They will probably not look like us, talk like us, or smell like us, but they are our brothers and sisters, God's beloved children." "It is normal to doubt. You live your life and God shows up and you know that it is more than a story". "Yes all of this newness is overwhelming but it will be fine and I will learn so much by being stretched outside of my comfort zone". "To be honest with you nothing about this whole thing is comfortable. I did not think when I was a little girl, 'oh I want to grow up and go to seminary and be a preacher', but God called and I answered and the rest has nothing to do with me and everything to do with what He can do in and through me."

Thank God it has nothing to do with me! I am just a willing instrument. AMEN!

Building Projects

My friend Linda and I had a great time with our Youth girls small group this weekend. We had a sleepover at Linda's and spent a lot of time talking while we put together and decorated gingerbread houses and a gingerbread church to auction at our church's Harvest Festival next weekend. It was quite an undertaking and while the results were pretty fantastic the process was most rewarding. While building and creating I thought about the time and energy and effort we all put into making our lives just so, maybe it is appearance or decor and maybe it is truly strong to the foundation, nevertheless, how little or how much does it take in life to destroy the veneer if the foundation is not so strong? What if you have not taken the time to do the real hard, dirty work? It made me think of the passage in matthew 7 about the wise and the foolish builders...24"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.
Who knows how much money we will raise for the church as a result of our labor, one thing is sure the time we spent building was priceless!

Shock and Awe

Yes I know I have been noticeably absent for the last 10 or so days. I must confess I have been in shock at the latest occurrence in the lives of the Jallad family. Many of you know Marten was out of full-time work for a year and has been working his new job for less than a year, all in the midst of discerning where God wants us and how the next several years will play out as we answer the call to seminary and full-time ministry. About 10 days ago we were told that Marten's job would essentially end come December, somewhere between the middle to the end. His company is closing 150 stores, all of the metro area included. Oh ya and no severance package, just that's the end see ya later, bye. So in my human shortsightedness I went into shock. I was mad. Mad at the company, hurt for Marten and what I knew he had to go through again. I confess I was mad at God for allowing this to happen. Scared, yup fear has crept in and I am fighting it daily! Fear is not from God!
Marten has been incredible. He remembers what God brought us through before. How amazingly, through the people He has put around us, He has provided again and again. He remembers, and so must I. I must remember that this is temporary. That He is eternal. That the hope we find in Him propels us forward. I must remember, but I also need to be reminded, by Him, by Marten, by you! We could all use those reminders couldn't we? God has not caused this to happen but He will be glorified in it if I have anything to do with it. I must remember to stand in awe of all He has done, all he has brought us through, and all He is doing and will do in the future.
Lest I resort to feeling sorry for myself or for Marten or for our girls I will think of Job. Do you know that in the book of Job, through the anguish and the torment hope is mentioned some 18 times? That puts things into perspective!
Pray for us please...
Hebrews 10:23Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.