How bad do you want it?

It was a beautiful day today here in Georgia! My girls came home from school wanting to play in the sprinkler and with their super atomic water blaster water guns outside. Of course! Thing is these things are in one of our sheds in the back yard (one is for storage the other for lawn equipment), anyway being that they are outside there are spiders and spider webs that inevitably find there way in there, etc. I was in the midst of my 5th load of laundry so I asked, "well how bad do you want those things?" They both wanted them pretty badly but they were both a bit scared of what they might encounter when they went out there. So being the woman that I am I said, "well you must not want them that bad if you can't face your fear". (It's tough to be my kid, but it has it's moments) My oldest looked at me exasperated. I told her what I will tell you. There are a lot of things in life that we really want but often times we let our fear keep us from even trying.
What I ended up doing was telling them if they went out there and were brave, that I would walk with them and be there beside them but they had to get them out. So we all went together.
Great thing about being a Christ follower is, he walks with you wherever you go. He's got your back too.
Hebrews 13:6So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"

One man's trash...

You know the saying... "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Well I think that applies in a lot of unexpected places that we don't often think about. See I believe that God means to redeem His entire creation...restore it. Along with that I believe that God's redemption is active everywhere and we can choose to be a part of it.
We all have junk in our lives that we would rather forget, bury, move on, take to the dumpster and never see again. But that junk still has experiences that stay with us that we carry around and don't forget. Sooooo we can always think about it as junk, and let it sit in our hearts and minds and stink up the place or we can find a way to redeem it by using it for good. I think we have a choice. Our trash can stay trash but it might be someone's treasure. What I mean to say is this; maybe you suffered some terrible abuse and you lived through it, or maybe you made a bad decision that you regret to this day, well that's where those things can stay or we can use that experience to come alongside someone else, to companion, to listen in ways that someone without your trash is incapable of doing, to share the wisdom born of your experience perhaps. This is the point where your trash becomes treasured by someone else.
No one can understand what it feels like to watch your own child die like another parent who has experienced the same thing. No one can understand what it is like to live with an addiction like someone else that does. No one can understand what it is like to live with chronic illness like someone else that does.
We all have a choice. We can bear one another's burdens. We can love our neighbor. We can turn our trash into treasure!

Thoughts on suffering...

I know those of you reading this might be thinking, "I wish she would finish this chaplaincy thing so we can stop talking about pain, suffering, trials, etc.", but that is where I am and this is quite cathartic. All told I have 3 more duty shifts and 3 more weeks of clinical hours, one duty shift tonight and 2 next week (not sure how I am going to survive that!). I wanted to share a reflection on suffereing that was shared with me. It is by Carlo Carretto and it is called "Why, O Lord?" Carretto was born in 1910 in northern Italy and was a key figure in Catholic Action, a group organized to mobilize the laity to action in advancing the religious and social message of the church. Later he joined the Little Brothers a group of contemplatives in the desert. Carretto has been likened to St. Francis of Assisi and his message on suffering is poignant.

This is one part of the mystery of suffering:
God permitsit.
God wounds me.
God destroys my harvests.
God rages in the storm.
God leads me to my death.
But precisely in wounding me (God) draws out the best in me.
If I were not woulded--how unbearable I should be in my fiendish security! How sure of myself!
Wounded, I remain calm and learn to weep. Weeping I learn to understand others, I learn the blessedness of poverty.
This is a fact.
If human beings had no pain, were never pushed to the limits of endurance, how hard it would be for them to enter the road to salvation!
If the Israelites had enjoyed freedom in Egypt, Moses could never have persuaded them to attempt the march of liberation.
If the desert had been full of beguiling oases instead of snakes, hunger and thirst, they would never have reached the Promised Land.
No spur can move us towards tomorrow more effectively than suffering.

"Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Hebrews 12:3

Holy Hangover!

Well, more on Easter. All of the pastor people I know are riding high from their Easter's. One guy I love out of Washington baptized over 300 people in all of their Easter services. Crazy! Well all told they do have several campuses and had a total of 20 services but still, that is more than 10 people a service!
What was your Easter like?
I was beyond exhausted from a Friday duty shift at the hospital, sister's wedding last weekend, Sierra's sixth birthday, and school, work, etc. Need I go on? Seriously I think I half cried through most of the service I attended and was incredibly moved when 3 young men were baptized. Wow! In the midst of it I thought, wow, I get to do that some day. I want to do that a lot. These are eternity changing events. This is awesome. It's kind of how I felt when I told it like it was in the hospital a few weeks ago and the Spirit really moved. I want more. This is intoxicating and addictive and there is nothing else on this planet like it. God is so amazing!
Tell me about your Easter!

New Life

It's Easter, well not techinically anymore because it is after midnight, but nevertheless Easter. Today we celebrate the resurrection of our risen Lord, the forgiver of our sins, and Savior of our souls. In Him we are afforded new life, a blank slate, a new beginning. So what are you doing with that new beginning? I have lots of thoughts on what I need to do differently, more intentionally or better. The hope and promise that we are reminded of today brings some clarity for me with it. I have been so exhausted and overwhelmed with my many responsibilities this semester I think I have done nothing 100 % and that is totally out of character for me. There is so much I want to do that I simply don't have time for. I feel like I am being pulled in so many directions, my heart is being pulled in so many directions, and I just don't know where to turn first. I am praying for clarity. I am praying to be still. I am praying...

I'm conflicted. The whole chaplaincy experience has been so hard, well particularly the part concerning children, but I know that when I walk out of that hospital for the last time I will miss it. A few things I do know: When I am there I am fully surrendered to God like no other place. I am very vulnerable and fully reliant. Result? I know God can use me. I know that I am meeting people at some of the hardest times in their lives. At possibly their greatest point of need and questioning about who God is, where He is, searching for meaning. I know God uses people everywhere but I guess things just aren't that in your face everyday. People are not normally so vulnerable in everyday. Not quite so reachable. Far more challenging in many ways. Hard as it is I will miss these opportunities. I am praying God gives me more. That I can be faithful in the small things so that He will trust me with some bigger ones. Amen!
He is risen!

Who God is and who we are wherever we go...

More about chaplaincy. I wish I could say it is getting easier. What I can say is that I am understanding more, mostly about myself. When I am at the hospital I feel completely out of control. It is then that I am fully submitted and fully rely on God like no other. At home I feel so much more in control and control I do. A very wise person suggested that in both places I am the same person and in both places God is God. I just need to take some of what I experience in the hospital into all the other places in my life. Total submission and reliance on God. I need to live like that every day!
May it be so!