The Weight of the Role

Being named or called Pastor is weighty. I am constantly aware of this and all of its implications. I have known someone now for nearly two decades that left the Church due to the decision of the pastor to not perform a marraige between this person and their fiance due to the religious beliefs of the fiance. This person that had grown up in the Church, left, and never went back. I have heard similar stories over the years, both before and since becoming a pastor myself. Some have told me they were "hurt by the Church" in some way or another and I have reminded them that we are all human beings and that it was a human being that hurt them or wronged them, but that Jesus had nothing to do with it. That Jesus would not have hurt them, rejected them, judged them, in that way that sent them running in the other direction. I pray that they give the Church, Jesus' Church, another try, because it can be the most amazing and wonderful community to be a part of in life and ultimately a means of God's grace to grow us into God's intended image and reflection of God and God's love. This cannot be done alone!

Unfortunately our failings as pastors have far further reaching implications than we might ever imagine. This friend of mine recently shared a conversation they had with their now aging sibling. They talked about God, and faith, and the Church. The sibling confessed that after what had happened to their loved one, they too had left the Church (they have lived in different countries for 45 years) and never looked back because they too were so hurt and felt so betrayed by this pastor and therefore the Church.

It is a weighty role. For better or worse a pastor can become synonomous with a person's image of the Church, grace, forgiveness, judgment, etc. The bottom line is however that all who believe are called to be ambassadors for Christ. How we live what we say we believe has broad sweeping implications for many that we may never even know. How do you live what you say you believe?
2Corinthians 5:20 We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.

Conduct Unbecoming

I confess. I don't know how to "be" a pastor. Well maybe that is not all true. There are a lot of connotations that come along with the title pastor and I don't fit many of them. I have blogged before about the fact that I do not desire, ever, to possess the "pastoral mystique", you know, that untouchable, unapproachable aura. Oops I used the word aura and pastor in the same sentence. See what I mean?

I make faces from the pulpit. I wave to my kids, blow kisses and wrinkle my nose when I don't approve of their behavior, well not during the sermon, but during worship nevertheless. I can't sing worth a lick except in the car by myself. Put a microphone in front of my face while I am singing and you will be sorry! Really! My reportoire of hymns is minimal at best. I know far more contemporary worship songs. I have yet to master my preacher voice or prayer voice. I should have one right?

I don't know how to guard my reaction when someone says something hurtful to me about myself or my family (people forget you are a human being somehow).

I don't know how to not weep openly for the dullness of hearts and ears to the gospel message when I encounter people who call Christ their savior and crucify him over and over again with their actions.

I don't fit a lot of people's ideas of what/who a pastor is, at least by appearances.
What picture do you paint when you think of who/what a pastor is? I'm clumsily trying to figure it out.