Confessions of a Female Pastor

Marten (my husband) had to work today. He has to work a lot of Sundays. I got up early before the girls like I do every morning. I had my "quiet time" study, prayer, meditation. I went over my sermon...then I got the girls up, made their breakfast, made sure they were dressed appropriately,hair brushed, eating, before I finally started getting ready myslef. My oldest shortly parked herself on my bed right outside my bathroom door where I was putting on my makeup. "The computer has a virus, there is something on the screen and...," she said. I just wanted to get ready. I just wanted to be in "the zone" to prepare for my pastoral duties, to deliver the sermon, to...She went on. She sat there. I think she actually expected me to go figure out what was going on, or fix it, or I don't know. I just wanted to get ready. I just wanted to be in "the zone". I told her I had no time and to please leave my room so I could get ready.
I am certain that male pastors do not have to handle these Sunday morning responsibilities. Their wonderful wives are dressing and feeding their children. Their wives are stopping the fights and the bickering. THEY are in "the zone". These male pastors have probably been handed a cup of coffee by their wife. They might not even have ironed the shirt they are wearing.
I get to church. I have the kids in tow. I start giving them instructions before we walk in. "When we get there please do this and go do that for mommy." The youngest always interrupts conversations. She is asking permission to do something or go somewhere. I'm just trying to be the pastor and she just sees mommy.
I'm trying to figure this out. It's pretty much the same after the benediction when I am speaking to folks as they leave. The kids are there, the younger one asking questions and wanting my attention. Yes, Marten and I have both spoken to her, but it continues.
We are all getting used to this. ALL of us. I pray that those I serve will see that in order for me to be a better pastor they might have to help me to be a better wife and mother...whatever that might look like.