Fully Alive?

"The glory of God is man fully alive". I don't know when I first heard that but it resonated in a deep place within me. It was said by Early Church father Irenaeus, who lived in the late 2nd century, in his writings "Against Heresies, an argument largely against gnosticism. He was bishop of Lyons in what is now modern day France.
What does it mean to be "fully alive". I dare to say that, just like many of us are sleepwalking through life, many of us are far from "Fully alive". Do we let the world determine our steps or are our steps determined by something far bigger than what we see? Are we fully engaged in relationship with the people around us, or do we just do what we need to do to get through the day? Are we reaching out to others? Loving our neighbor? Heck, loving our family? Or are we doing the bare minimum? Where is the meaning? Remember the husband you prayed for? The child you longed to have? The parents that nutured and cared for you? Where are you in those relationships? I admit I am not winning any prizes, I try. I honestly have been so blessed with so many wonderful people in my life I often get frustrated with not getting enough interaction with each and every one of them! We can all do better. Ya, it takes time. But it is so worth it.
More than all of that, there is God, our Creator, who longs to be in relationship with us, so much so that He left His throne in Heaven to come to earth. I dare to say that in relationship with Him we can find all of the fuel we need to nurture those other relationships. More than anything, spend time with the lover of your soul. Read His word, pray, sing, sit and listen, and then with unveiled faces, shine His light into the world. When Moses left God's presence he had to veil his face because it shone. Our world could use all the light it can get. Be fully alive!

2 Corinthians 3:18And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

Failure...

Failure, it's a scary word, not one that I like to think about. Again this is something that comes loaded with meaning, different for each of us based on our experience and exposure to failure. Being a bit of a type A (I know some of you are laughing at that, stop!) I do not take failure well. I know this about myself. I want to do it all and do it well, right away if not sooner.

What God has taught me, and is still teaching this sometimes reluctant student, is that He did not create me to do it all or you to do it all and do it well. He created each of us for a specific purpose. We are each uniquely crafted, yet crafted in His image. His image can only be made complete when we come together with one another. What I lack you provide, what you lack I provide. Where I fail you succeed. Where you fail I succeed. God created us to live in community together, to need one another, and to reach out to one another to give and to receive. It is a prideful thing to think we can do it all and succeed at it all on our own, quite self-reliant rather than God reliant.

When we fail we can choose to feel beaten down and give up or we can choose to see it as a lesson learned, wisdom earned, and new perspective born, none of which is easy. I know. Hey remind of all of this the next time I fail ok?

Illness...

Illness...that's a loaded word. It comes with all kinds of perceptions and personal experiences, fears and anxieties. So what has God taught me through illness? I have been fortunate to be pretty healthy my whole life. I will never forget taking Ariana to the hospital when she was 10 weeks old. She had a high fever that wouldn't come down. Leaving the room on the doctor's request so that she could have a spinal tap was probably one of the hardest things I have had to do. Watching my grandmother waste away with cancer is a memory I would like to erase. Standing in the doctor's office with Marten in excrutiating pain, being told he was very sick and needed to be in the hospital is another one that I'd like to forget. Months later standing in his hospital room waiting and praying for him to get better and come home was hard too.
We are sooo fragile. We take our wonderfully made bodies so for granted. We take it for granted that they will be healthy. We take it for granted that our friends and loved ones will always be around, strong and present.
God has taught me through illness how better to relish each day that my eyes open, I draw breath, and my feet hit the floor. I have learned that health is not a given but a gift to be treasured. I have also learned that in those times when we do experience illness, our own, or another's God is near. He is near in the people who draw near, in those who pray, in the doctor's and the nurses, and in the quiet stillness. He is near when it seems no one else is.
God is the great healer. He heals in ways sometimes that we cannot comprehend or anticipate.
Sometimes a long fight, pain, waiting, hoping, praying culminates in death. For those of us who believe, this is the ultimate form of healing, when we get our resurrection bodies.

3 John 1
2Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.

Wahoo and Hallelujah!

And a big sigh of relief! It is official. I am now a certified candidate for ordained ministry. It has been a high emotion and anxiety filled week, but as always God has provided abundantly. Sunday went well. I even got a thumbs up from the one who keeps me most humble (Marten). God provided the message and God delivered the message because I don't even remember saying some of the things I said. If you would like to listen it is up on the church website.
http://www.snellvilleumc.org/templates/cussnellvilleumc/details.asp?id=31612&PID=388673#bottom
Check it out when you get a chance.
The girls are due home from school and I would love to take a nap due to the relief, and exhaustion, etc. but I am too excited to close my eyes! More later!
Thank you all for your prayers and support!

Just a bit angry....

Some of you may have read or heard about the magazine cover that is being kept behind counters at Lifeway Christian Stores. It must be requested in order to be seen or purchased. Doesn't sound like something you would find in a Christian store huh? It may as well be porn or have a brown paper wrapper on it, so it seems. What's the big to do? Female preachers. The magazine is Gospel Today and pictured on the cover are four female pastors! GASP! Don't get me wrong, those of you who know me know I am not a feminist by any means, but this makes me angry!
We had a module in one of my classes last semester on women in ministry and several views of it. Most of the time I felt like throwing the book across the room. What comes to mind for me is the early church and what were called the Donatists, who questioned the validity of Baptism and serving of the Eucharist by those who had less than stellar records during severe persecution. At the core of all of this is whether or not we believe that the power in these sacraments is that given by the Holy Spirit or that of a human. There is no one righteous, not one! We are all sinners who have fallen short of the glory of God. If God has called me through His Word and Spirit to preach His word and serve the Sacraments who is any man or woman to question that? It is by the power of the Spirit and not that of the means. Lest you go to any scriptural arguments against women and preaching, please consider the context, the culture, and the time. If you want to comment on something specifically I will be happy to entertain discussion. Anyone care to comment?

Lack of money...

It seems there is just never enough money. This has been a theme in my life. I remember as a young girl trying to help mom pinch pennies, eating fried baloney sandwiches and canned fruit for dinner. Lack of anything can make you go a little overboard when it suddenly becomes readily available. You know what I'm talking about? Ever give up caffeine or chocolate for Lent? Well then, you know what I mean. Anyway lack seems to make everything more lucid, more three dimensional in a sense, at least for me. During the year of Marten's first unemployment, and then part-time employment, we lacked a lot, BUT we gained so much! Those were hard times. It's hard to ask for help, ya know? Some people, bless them, gave it without ever being asked. Thank you! But there is something in the asking too. None of us is made to be self-reliant. Yes we should be responsible adults however it is God we should rely on. We weren't meant to do life alone. Lack reminds us that we can't. God provides for us in ways we sometimes do not see, like the people He puts around us. The lack of money meant more time at home, major simplification, more times just sitting and talking, great family time! I am grateful for Marten's job and the support it affords our family now and the means to give more generously to our church but in some ways I miss the life that seemed more real and more three dimensional.


Prayers please. The countdown has begun. I am preaching this Sunday for the first time at my home church. Please pray that God will provide the words by the power of His Holy Spirit, that I will proclaim them with confidence, and the message would fall on hungry ears! On Tuesday, September 23 I go before the District Committee on Ministry here in order to become a certified candidate for ordination. Please remember me on Tuesday. Most of all I need prayers for my nerves, God has taken care of the rest!
Bless you!

Still waiting...

Ok so in my last post I talked a lot about people and our expectations and waiting. A lot of the time I think we are waiting on God. God what are you doing? Where are you? What is taking so long? I am being obedient. I am stepping out in faith. What next, what next? Am I talking to anyone here? What I have learned in seemingly waiting on God may sound cliche but is true, God is seldom early, never late and always on time. HMMM...That is so hard to see when you are in the midst of waiting isn't it? If God has shown himself to you before in whatever ways big or little miraculous or mundane, REMEMBER it and REMEMBER it and REMEMBER it. BELIEVE it. Hold on to that. God is faithful! I am confident He is working. God is good. God is working out details that we can't fathom. If you are in the midst of this waiting, tell someone. Do not despair. We are here to help one another, love one another, and to bear one another's burdens. If you know someone who is despairing, share their burden, hear their prayers. Let them borrow a cup full of your faith until they can recover their own.

An aside, but a very exciting one, I am preaching at my home church this Sunday. It is an incredible privilege of which I feel unworthy, extremely humbled, and ecstatic! Upon getting the invitation I fell to my knees overcome and overwhelmed. Who am I? Who am I? How did I get here? By the grace of God alone, His call, and my desire to do nothing but say a bewildered "yes".