So, I am sitting here working on one of my final papers for my Anthropology for Christian Mission class. It's finals week and I have completed my work for two classes but have two more to go. I'm tired. I want to be done. I want to veg and watch Christmas movies. My brain hurts. BUT, my heart is so full of all I have learned over these last months. On the outside things might be and look hard but on the inside God is doing amazing things. Some days I hardly recognize myself anymore. Most days I wonder how I got here and what could I possibly have to do in this role that has been cast for me. I feel like such an understudy, occasionally allowed to play the role, then sink back into anonymity.
I was thinking today about the last year and a half of seminary and what I have really learned. For the most part what I think has happened is that an excavation has been done. All of the dirt and garbage from this world and all of its yuck has been removed. But not removed never to be seen again, removed in order to be used to provide fertile soil for sowing seeds, redeeming the junk and using it for God's glory. It has been as well a process, and continues to be, of figuring out who God really created me to be, what He wants, not what I want or anyone has told me to be. My heart is full because I know my God is working, refining, honing. Sometimes it hurts but so do many cures for the sick!
Back to work....
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