Where do I begin?

I have been pondering soooo many things lately and God has been speaking to me about so much and putting many challenges and opportunities in front of me. I guess the trick is to see the challenges as opportunities...a chance to do something differently or become better at something or try something I never have before, that if not challenged I would never have the opportunity to do! That's the point I came to in the seemingly continuous stream of "challenges" since saying "yes" to God and His call...hhmmm...I guess this all goes along with the popular cliche that God does not close a door without opening another...sometimes it takes awhile to realize where that door is or what you thought was a rug or a lamp is actually a door...right there all along!
Honestly I do not think I can rein in my thoughts enough to stick to one topic. What's been on my mind and in my heart? Disipleship, relationship, loss, grief, how the hardest times in our lives can bring us to our knees begging for God or can send us running down the road in the other direction, community, how much we all need each other, how we can never truly know who we are or who God created us to be unless we give ourselves away to others, until we become vulnerable...no man/woman is an island.
Ariana, my 10 year old was talking about what she wanted to be when she grows up the other day. She does this often as do most children. I don't remember talking about it much myself. I never had big aspirations to be anything in particular. What I was thinking was however is that I never dreamed, no that is not the word, I never even thought about doing what I am doing now. It was not within my realm of understanding. Seminary? What's that? Chaplaincy? Are you kidding? Why would I want to do that? I keep looking around and wondering how I got here, nothing was calculated, nothing planned, just total abandon, totally relinquishing control. You can only beg God for so long to use you and fill you with His Spirit before He starts taking you up on the offer! Whenever I try to take control back He reminds me that I am incapable and am so much better off with Him in control. Amen and amen.
I'll try to rein something in and focus next time...