Wow, what a week!

The last week has been a challenging one. You're probably beginning to wonder when I am not challenged! I spent the week getting oriented to Scottish Rite as an organization and then in the capacity of chaplaincy intern. For the next 5 months I will be doing a chaplaincy internship, supporting and ministering to the families and children that find themselves at Scottish Rite. I would be lying if I said I am not overwhelmed by this latest task that God has put before me. I am incredibly humbled by the place I find myself in. I keep looking around and wondering to myself, "How did I get here? How am I going to get through the next five months? How can I stand beside a parent who's child is dying or in excrutiating pain, and be the steady calm?" I have already seen and heard stories about horrible things. I already have a new, incredibly huge, appreciation for all who care for these children and families. My answer is to beg God to erase any part of me and replace it with all of Him. That when I speak the words will be His and not mine. That when I pray I will be filled with the Spirit. That when I am present with these families in pain and uncertainty, God's love and presence will be felt. That when what I see and hear makes me feel weak, He will strengthen me.....and so much more. I want to be His light and His love in the dark, frightening places these families will be facing. Pray that it is so.
I will share stories as I am able. Thank you for your prayers in order to persevere through this experience while continuing classes, my part time job, an internship, and of course being a wife and mother!

Homeless and hungry....

So, I did something without giving it much thought today. As I was leaving training for Scottish Rite there was a homeless man standing with a sign at the light. His sign said "homeless and hungry". Having just reached into my bag and pulled out an energy bar (homemade I might add :) ) and brushed up against an apple, I rolled down my window and said, "I have an apple, would you like it?" The kind man walked up to my window and said, "thank you, yes, how is your new year getting started, how are you?" I told him I was good but that my husband had lost his job. He shook his head and said he hoped Obama could do something and feared the world might be coming to an end. He then said he thought God might just be angry and fed up. I said "amen to that". But i also countered with the fact that maybe it was just a good wake up call for everyone. He said many mornings he woke up and told God he would be better off up in heaven with God, not here. He told me how some people had offered him a place to sleep and how he had heard about a place in Toccoa that might help him get a fresh start. I told him about Trinity and the soup kitchen and the ministry that they have there for men that was similar to what he was describing. He told me he had been married a long time but now he was divorced and felt very alone. I said, "well if you know the Lord you are never alone." He said, "I know the Lord, I know the Lord." The light changed and he said God bless you and I said the same and drove off.
In hindsight I wished I had told him that yes heaven would certainly be better but that God had plans for him here. That if he does indeed know the Lord, that it is his job to tell people about him and live out the love he has found only in him. I should have assured him that his life has meaning and purpose. It also made me think about a class I took last semester. The topic for the class was the problem of evil. How can God be wholly good and omnipotent, and evil still exist? Well, this was discussed for the entire semester so I can't put it all in a little box for you, but one conclusion I came to was that without any suffering in the world there would be no reason for compassion. What would move people to act? There are many people that are just now beginning to experience hardship they have never known. Some will for longer periods than others. Over time however this experience will allow many to feel compassion that was never possible without their own lack or the lack of others.
Just something to think about.
I am thinking about going back to talk to that man.

New Year, New Beginnings and Relationship

Happy New Year! It's the time of year when many of us resolve to do something differently or better. Some of us might resolve to spend more time in prayer or study, eating better, or exercising.
God the Father offered us an incredible opportunity for a new beginning when He sent His Son to live, and walk, and teach on the earth, and ultimately to die for our sins, the perfect sacrifice in order to restore us to relationship with God. Jesus told his disciples that he had to leave them but when he did the Great Counselor would come, the Holy Spirit. The cleansing of mankind enabled the Spirit to dwell in each of us if we only extend the invitation. None of us is worthy, not one, without the perfect sacrifice that restored us to the place of possible relationship. God loves us so much, but he does not force Himself upon us. We must choose Him. When we do, the next step is relationship. Just like any relationship it takes commitment, time, energy, and intention. God already knows every single thing about each and every one of us. He did, after all, create us. The question is how well do we know Him?
The best way to do this is to read His Word, spend time in prayer, study, and in fellowship with other believers. How are we to know or recognize His voice if we are not familiar with His Word and His work in the lives of other believers?
One of the music groups I have been listening to lately has a song called "I Will Possess Your Heart". Click on the YOUTube screen on the right and you can listen for yourself! It's all about what it takes for relationship but it brings to my mind how God wants us to invest our time in order to build our relationship with Him. As a result, He will possess your heart, if only you take the time, that, I am certain of!

The Trinity Part 2

As soon as I typed that title I felt compelled to make this a 3-parter! It only seems right since we are talking about the Trinity. This last week has further actualized God's revelation of who He is in choosing to send His Son, to take the form of a helpless child, into the world with the eventual end with death on a cross, death for our sins, doing for us what we are incapable of doing for ourselves, sacrifice in the name of washing our sins away and repairing our relationship with God.
I had the privilege of attending both a wedding and a funeral this weekend. Both were instances of great celebration. Such peace comes with assurance of who you are in Christ and where your eternal destination lies. It was said at the funeral that God always shows up. Sometimes it is in our loved ones, friends and family God has put around us to celebrate with us, grieve with us, encourage us, this is the body of Christ acting in accordance with how God has revealed Himself. In the case of Christmas, however God showed up as a baby in a manger. He showed up and walked through this world, he shares our hurt, our joy, our awe, our love, a love that is not self referenced, but comes from Him. He shows up when we cannot show up for ourselves.
Forgive my rambling but it also makes me think about how we fail one another when we do not "show up".
So many people have shown up for me, for Marten, for our girls. Without our church family, without the body of Christ, Marten would not know our God today. It does "take a village"! God's Spirit, the great Counselor that came freely to us upon Christ's ascension, is working through and in that village. We must only pay attention and be obedient!

Trinity, Community, the body

The Trinity has been on my mind a lot lately. Can't tell you why exactly, I guess I need to pay attention. The Trinity is a hard thing to wrap your mind around, much less try to explain to someone. Many a children's book has been written about it and many an analogy has been made. Maybe you have heard the water, vapor, ice one or the apple peel, flesh, and seed? The concept of how God has revealed Himself through scripture and through history has tripped people up for centuries. It was one of the reasons for a split in the early church between the east and the west. Did the Holy Spirit proceed from the Father and the Son or from the Father alone? How do we describe this one form three essences? One essence three forms? Anyway the explaining is diffficult. The experience makes a difference.

You see the Triune God, Father, Son, and Spirit exist in a state of constantly giving selflessly, one to the other a constant giving of self flowing from one to the next. This is the model for the body of Christ, the church universal, God's people in the world, constantly giving of self, one to the other. If you are always giving, never expecting in return, BUT the next person is giving, etc., etc. what kind of world would this be?

I can honestly say I have experienced the Triune God through His people in varying degrees. that is what has really been on my mind. The more I experience it the more I grow to be part of it. More about that next time...

My brain hurts but my heart is full...

So, I am sitting here working on one of my final papers for my Anthropology for Christian Mission class. It's finals week and I have completed my work for two classes but have two more to go. I'm tired. I want to be done. I want to veg and watch Christmas movies. My brain hurts. BUT, my heart is so full of all I have learned over these last months. On the outside things might be and look hard but on the inside God is doing amazing things. Some days I hardly recognize myself anymore. Most days I wonder how I got here and what could I possibly have to do in this role that has been cast for me. I feel like such an understudy, occasionally allowed to play the role, then sink back into anonymity.
I was thinking today about the last year and a half of seminary and what I have really learned. For the most part what I think has happened is that an excavation has been done. All of the dirt and garbage from this world and all of its yuck has been removed. But not removed never to be seen again, removed in order to be used to provide fertile soil for sowing seeds, redeeming the junk and using it for God's glory. It has been as well a process, and continues to be, of figuring out who God really created me to be, what He wants, not what I want or anyone has told me to be. My heart is full because I know my God is working, refining, honing. Sometimes it hurts but so do many cures for the sick!
Back to work....

How big is your God?

Times are tough for some more than others. It's kind of a wake up call to some of us who easily come by the necessities in life. Others know what it is like to not have basic needs met on a pretty regular basis. Where is God in all that? Well this is the way I see things...

I believe that God is a God of abundance! I do not believe there is a limit on what He can do and provide. I believe that as a planet and as a people we have been given everything we need, but I also know that some of us have better means and circumstances to access resources to meet those needs. I also believe that to those whom God has gifted in place and in circumstance a greater responsibility is given.

We have all we need. God has been partnering with man since the beginning of time, it is in His nature to continue to do so. God's resources are unlimited. Yet so many of us don't live like that. We hang on to what we have and fear giving it away because what might tomorrow bring? It makes me think of the Israelites in the desert, collecting the manna, even though God had told them not to, only to find it had rotted the next day.

Do you believe that God will meet your needs? Maybe you are hanging on to something that you don't need right now but someone else does. Give generously. Trust that God will provide. Love one another.